I am still at an age at which I have, I hope, many active years ahead of me. I visit her often, but I have a need for companionship that she obviously can no longer fulfill. I’m friends with a few women , and from time to time have the urge to become closer. I go out to dinners, music venues, art shows, etc.
DEAR ANONYMOUS: What happened to your wife is unfortunate, and you both have my sympathy. Wanting and needing companionship are normal. It is important to ask yourself: If the situation were reversed and YOU were in a nursing home suffering from dementia, to what extent would you want your wife to go on with HER life? Whatever you decide after that, it is crucial you not forget you have a responsibility to make sure she is being well cared for.
I need time away from him to see how I feel. We are never apart, and it’s making me irritable, like I have nothing of my own anymore. HE’S ALWAYS THERE. I suppose it is a good thing, but I can’t breathe. What do I do? I feel like an awful wife and person now. What if the baby comes and I turn into some evil mom? -- NEUROTIC IN NEVADA